Rep. Kucinich on Afghanistan War: "We're Acting Like a Latter Day Version of the Roman Empire"

Rep. Kucinich on Afghanistan War: "We're Acting Like a Latter Day Version of the Roman Empire"

Say.......say it and get it out of you

I use to sit for hours and think about ways to end all the world's ills and have found this approach anti-productive. I say anti-productive for have you ever gotten a positive reception when telling anyone their way of being, speaking or thinking is wrong. People, no matter how tortured they are in their predicament, do not take well to being lectured about what is best for them from any outside source.

Buddhists often tout the belief that the world is "perfect as it is" and for years I have struggled with adopting this idea in the midst of the reality of life we live in and all the suffering we wee around us. These two concepts initially just do not seem to go together. but just recently I have been able to wed these two seemingly different ideas as being perfectly congruent with one another. The answer lies in full self acceptance. In trying to change the world to the way we feel it would be best, we place ourselves in a constant battle to prove our way of seeing, plus there is the added weight of the ugly ego convinced it knows what is best for the world. The fact is that we do not know what is best for anyone, but ourselves.

Painfully, I have come to see that the answer lies in doing just the opposite of preaching ones beliefes. The answer comes when one is simply being....being themselves and not at all in trying to change anyone. The more you are just yourself with all your faults the more people around you can be themselves too. When I say being yourself, I include all aspect of yourself; from my appearance all the way down to your beliefs.

With me, I begin self-acceptance with the fact that I don't wear makeup, I no longer dye my hair, I use the same voice no matter who's calling on the phone, I dress in what makes me feel powerful and fun. I no longer worry about what people might think about me as a mom when my kids begin screaming in the aisles in the supermarket...in all these ways I am just me....nothing more, nothing less.

So the world IS perfect the way it is......but only when we come to accept ourselves and the unique set of circumstances that make us who we are without needing to change the world into being just like us. Only then do we begin to fall into a higher consciousness.

Katie Byron quotes I love right NOW!!!

"Nothing can cost you someone you love.
The only thing that can cost you your husband is if you believe a thought.
That's how you move away from him.
That's how the marriage ends.
You are one with your husband until you believe the thought
that he should look a certain way, he should give you something,
he should be something other than what he is.
That's how you divorce him.
Right then and there you have lost your marriage.

~ Byron Katie ~

I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours and God’s. Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our business. When I think, “You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on time, you need to take better care of yourself,” I am in your business. When I’m worried about earthquakes, floods, war, or when I will die, I am in God’s business. If I am mentally in your business or in God’s business, the effect is separation.

~ Byron Katie Quotes from Loving What Is

To think that I know what’s best for anyone else is to be out of my business. Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance, and the result is tension, anxiety, and fear. Do I know what’s right for me? That is my only business. Let me work with that before I try to solve problems for you.

~ Byron Katie Quotes from Loving What Is

I have never experienced a stressful feeling that wasn’t caused by attaching to an untrue thought. Behind every uncomfortable feeling, there’s a thought that isn’t true for us.

~ Byron Katie Quotes from Loving What Is

"Hurt feelings or discomfort of any kind cannot be cause by another person. No one outside me can hurt me. That's not a possibility. It's only when I believe a stressful thought that I get hurt. And I'm the one who's hurting me by believing what I think. This is very good news, because it means that I don't have to get someone else to stop hurting me. I'm the one who can stop hurting me. It's within my power.

Clarity of Motherhood

There is something about motherhood that has cleared up my world, my mind, my soul.

Just like when you're exhausted and without any conflict know exactly what you can't handle

In parenthood, you no longer waver in the realm of indecision or fear

Way back, as young childless teacher, I was often offended at being told I did not "understand"

"How could I not understand such elementary concepts" I gasped...I surely knew more, for I had the fancy degrees.....

These certificates carried my pride, disregarding parents, all these potential partners.

But now as a mother of two I need nothing more than my kids' love to survive.

Conflicting days melt away in the midst of their smiles

The love I feel for them fuels me with strength and fills me with purpose

The clarity comes from this love, a fearlessness and a sheer resolve to protect always.

Being Green is Okay BUT only if it's cool

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20091118/us_nm/us_usa_laundry

More and more I am seeing how it's more important to appear green, than to actually be green. Living in NW DC I see tons of people righteously toting around their canvas bags full of groceries. When I go shopping I myself always get plastic for I use them as trash bags and therefore also being green, because I never buy trash bags, EVER. I don't even buy foil, saran wrap or paper towels EVER. Naturally, when I see these people, I often wonder if they buy plastic trash bags for their trash.

On that note, I just read this article about how more and more families are drying their clothes outdoors to either save money or to be green. The article recounts a situation where one woman who hangs he laundry outdoors has gotten 2 anonymous notes from neighbors telling her they do not wish to see her "unmentionables flapping about". So these canvas bags being carried around by everyone (who most likely purchase everything from plastic trash bags, to tins foil to saran wrap) is okay and looks cool, yet when an energy saving practice that could really make a difference comes about it does not pass the test simply because it does not look cool. Is not the solution here to learn to not see it that way?

The World Is Coming to an END....AGAIN

I watched some show a few nights ago about how these religious families who believe the world is coming to an end in 2012 are preparing themselves, their homes and their families to become to survivors of this catastrophe and inheritors of the Earth. This one father who was interviewed had taught his 4-year old about how the son of god will come down and basically get rid of all the non-believers. As a non-believer myself I find it hard to embrace how giddy and righteous these people were about thinking themselves the "saved ones", but that is for another whole post.

On another note along the same lines, I teach up to 500 children art at a school in the District and almost daily I am getting kids coming up to me and telling me that they are sure the world is coming to an end in 2012. This is happening so often that I now know exactly what they're going to say when they come up to me with their wide eyes and pronounce, "Guess what I know!!". Obviously somewhat spurred on by the movie and some shows like the one I saw, yet, somehow I can't help to see how this mass anxiety also speaks to our own need as humans to so desperately want to exist within the drama. It also speaks to our need to cling to some story about ourselves that glamorizes our experience out and away from the dull and ordinary. "We are the people and this is the time" is what we are meant to believe about our existance, temporarily taking our minds away from the dishes.

COME ON!! Does anyone remember Y2K? It was 1999 and everyone thought THEN the world was ending as we knew it. The dumb shows came on real strong with predictions and strong tie-ins to biblical text assuring all viewers that this would be the end as we know it....everyone was scared. Now it's 2009 and it's like the entire world is not aware that "end-of-world theories" have been going on for hundreds, if not thousands of years.....and guess what....we are still here.

So here.....the world is NOT ending, now get up and go do the dishes.

Pleasantries

I am not the pleasantries kind of girl. Ever since I was a young child I could immediately tell the honesty in one's voice, the sincerity in people's compliments the minute they'd say one sentence and my trust would then be built on these hunches. I am sure this faculty developed into a strong muscles after years of seeing upstanding adults be duplicitous in their lives. The examples can go on and on but that is another whole post. Also, It's not that I hate these social norms. I do follow some conversational pleasantries when I first meet people, yet after the sugar and spice of these initial conversations I need to connect with some humanity IN you in order to build trust.

I have found that people that remain in the "pleasantries" stage of a friendship or acquaintanceship too long never really let down their guard and therefore causing me to stay away; FAR, far away. Think about it. Have you ever met anyone say at work or elsewhere and a year later you realize you still do not know a thing about them? Would you trust them with your child? or your cat? or even a pet mouse? NO! Letting down your guard and sharing your humanity is part of bonding. We've all felt more at ease with a coworker or Friend the minute we find out this person has either done something hilariously dumb, or gone through an embarrassing situation. This is because temporarily the wall is lifted and we see this person's softness, their humanity!! People with pleasantries-itis does not allow this to happen. They keep things at this sterile level, never allowing you in their personal lives.

Weaning Ourselves From Research

It saddens me to see the world move closer and closer towards research and revere it as if it were the answer to everything. I equate it to a cancer that has now even taken over even my child's education. I'm pretty sure you too have been lured to think research-based anything is also the way, but before you turn your head let's question why we think research is important? In a very simplified set of reasoning....it must be because most people want 100% assurance that learning is happening in classroom.....we've all heard about the bottom line; are kids learning what they are being taught? But in trying to frantically assure ourselves of the content in our child's brains, we have undone a few golden nuggets of hundreds of years of when education existed without the assurance of research . For starters, the trust we have in teachers and in teaching has been lost. Teachers are bombarded with professional development sessions weekly because they are not trusted to know what they know. Two, we now operate from a fear-based model and have abandoned teaching our children flexibility. Last, we have parsed out learning into units of information, disconnected from one another and thereby taking away the magic of their connection to each other.

Research has broken the creativity and stripped away and invalidated the inner knowledge of teachers. Teachers become teachers because they notice they work well with children and so they are already blessed with knowing how to communicate information to a young mind. Teachers use to be able to have an innate knowledge of their child population and were allowed to come up with creative ways to transmit that knowledge based on that specific population's needs. Now, teachers are handed down systems and programs that often do not fit their populations. These programs are labeled research-based and teachers trust less and less in their own inner research of their population.

Research is a fear-based approach. We fear that if the child is not given 100% proven methods success will not be assured later in life or that somehow they will not be successful in their path. How incredibly stupid and absurd! In the Buddhist philosophy you learn that the cessation of pain and suffering does not happen through control, instead, it happens through letting go and learning to assimilate life events into our life. In my own life experience I have suffered greatly as a young child, anyone would shudder at hearing all I have gone through at a young age. Yet, I have used all my negative experiences growing up to make myself stronger. So if what we want for our children is success, should we not be teaching flexibility instead? No one can control what happens in later life at all so trying to research things to death to assure us of 100% anything is a lost cause. I reward my children for being flexible and allowing small disappointments to teach them about how what we consider tragedies may not always be surrounded with pain. Tragedies and suffering are opportunities for being broken open as human beings and if we stop operating with fear of what might happen we might actually see that even in the deepest of tragedies light shines through.

My 5 year old son who cannot write or read yet is being taught about question marks. I do not doubt in the future , maybe in 2 years, this information will come in handy, but teaching a non-writing child about a punctuation mark is as important as teaching him how to do Morse code. I of course do not blame the teacher, I blame the people on the very top who make these decisions about my child; they do not have the right perspective to be making these decisions. In buying into research-based programs we have abandoned the research we ourselves do as teachers in the classroom by observing our own kids. We have also abandoned our trust in our own judgements as we evaluate their needs. In being forced to superimpose these foreign programs and ideals created by" researchers" who probably work in antiseptic offices far, far away from REAL kids and bringing them into our classrooms we face a conflict of huge proportion. Disconnectedness is bound to happen when too many systems float around in one classroom; how can it not. None of this information will matter to a child unless it's taught in the context of his own world and I do not need research to know this. As a nation, as parents and as educators we need to forcibly insist on education being holistic and always somehow intimately connected to our child's lives. I want my children to love learning and when education is parsed out into disconnected bullets of knowledge it looses it's magic. I will never forget a lesson learned in graduate school. My professor gave me a xerox copy of an apple and told me to tell her all the apple facts I could come up with based on the information I was given; obviously not much information could be derived from a picture of an apple. Next, she gave me a real apple and a butter knife and told me to write down about apples.

We do not need years of research to tell us what we already intimately know about the way we learn. I urge teachers to trust their minds and their love in children and that is the most powerful "program" you can buy (into). I urge parents to fight for their children and to question systems that teach children disconnected pieces of knowledge. In the urge to get to the finish line first, schools are sacrificing the magic of childhood; our child's childhood. Think, and question why it's so important to read at a certain age? Does a child who learns to read at 4 have a more successful life? Will it assure happiness in later life? Why have we become so frantic about memorization? Question whether your child knowing their alphabet sounds really spells out a more successful or happy adult? Should not the love of learning and the love of satisfying our creative and intellectual curiosity be the driving force behind our child's education? None of these issues were important to me before I had kids, but now that I have children these issues take center stage. This is my child and I want him to love learning. That will not happen is he's taught about things that have no connection to his life now. I am disappointed to see so few parent and teacher advocates on this issue. We have come to a point where we no longer question or investigate. We look at the numbers and trust them. "Oh, this is a 10 school, they must be doing something right". Or, "this is a 2 school, they must suck". Think....but WHO is evaluating and what criteria are they using?

Early Childhood Dreams!

Children

Competent, capable learners

Operate in the “scientific method” (making assumptions about the way the world works and then experimenting to check them out)

Children with disabling conditions do not have “special needs”, they have “special rights”

Drive the curriculum with their observations, insights, and questions

Teachers

Are seen as “researchers”

Spend much time observing and documenting children’s work both in words and photos

Are partners with children in the learning process

Remain with a group of children for a three year cycle (birth to 3, or 3 to 5)

Are educated with “on the job” training

Families

Are true partners in the life of the center

Are expected to participate in decision making

Are reflected in the documentation throughout the center

Program/Curriculum

Centers have an artist on staff

All of the arts (visual, dance, music, etc.) are integrated into the daily life of the center

One administrator with an education background oversees one or more schools

There is a regular routine to the day, but the schedule for activities is not fixed

Children are encouraged to take multiple perspectives. They look at things from different aspects and angles

Children represent and re-represent their impressions through different media (drawing, writing, sculpting, etc.), building on their knowledge through in depth projects over time

Environment

Thoughtfully prepared to function as the “third teacher”

Along with art areas in each classroom, there is an art studio in the building

The outdoor area is as important as the inside as a learning environment

Natural light and plants abound

Documentation of the children’s work is displayed throughout (and left up for a long time)

Lots of mirrors and places to climb up and under (to allow children to see things in a different perspective)

Attention paid to use of light and shadow

Allow

Allow.....such a powerful and helpful lesson to reaching true happiness.

So many times a day I practice "allowing" that it finally seems a bit easier.

I allow the feeling of frustration to pass through me when I realize my alarm did not go off.

I allow my hubby to disagree even if it does not fit my idea of what I wanted him to think.

I allow my son to scream without seeking comfort in yelling back.

How many times we fight life and all its surprises?....We try so hard to change and shift our world to fit our idea of what the world should be that we forget that life is meant to be unpredictable and that fighting all this unpredictability only makes life harder and more miserable.

This is one reason I abhor movies about love. How finite and strict these movies have come to define love. They make it seem as if love ONLY comes dressed in candles, flowers, poems and wine and leave out the gamut of other styles of love that exist in the world. It begs the question, could there be love without flowers? without gifts? without poems? The movies would have you think not and setting you on a lifelong quest for prince charming. But prince charming might come dressed in any of thousands of forms. If attached to one finite idea of love, you might miss it all together.

So next time to meet a person who might not fit the "mark" of a prince charming....allow them to teach you about their style of love.

Been painting again

This one is on sale at MiriamsArt.etsy.com

Painting Again

Art is contagious. I teach children art and their enthusiasm has infected me. I also have come to learn that my own children would benefit from seeing me follow my passions; painting, collage, photography and cooking. I created a painting this past week and as expected my kids wanted to paint too. I had long feared this scenario, yet it went pretty smooth. They painted for 20 minutes then went on to another activity and allowed me to finish my painting without any disruptions. So all this time of not painting fearing the constant disruption and unpredictable mess, I had no idea it would only last for a few minutes. Now my 2 year-old knows what a canvas is and my son sees that colors can be layered when the paint is dry or wet. It's a win-win situation all around. I get to paint, and they learn and get inspired.

Apparently I'm Into Leather...Why didn't someone tell me?

One thing I have learned from reading every one of Katie Byron's books is that what other people think of me is THEIR business not mine. This is a HUGE improvement from where I use to be. I use to painfully care what others thought of me where it would consume all my time and energy trying to change their minds. Trying to control other's thoughts you know is a truly exhausting task; a full time job indeed. Luckily, I am cured from such a distortion of the mind and am free to be me without a care in the world.

I was happy to return to one fo the MOST valuable Katie Byron's lesson today when an acquaintance from work approached me and professed to know that I was somehow into "leather" or that I must had some exotic private life based on the fact that I wear a 1/4" width leather bracelet. His boldness and intrusive conversation both caught me totally off guard and made me chuckle at the same time. When I stupidly erred and continued the conversation, I briefly tried to correct him and make him aware of the plain nature of my life these days, he simply retorted with a smirk, "I've been around, I know". I then made a very conscious and Buddhist choice to just let it go and allow him think whatever he wanted of me and that his thoughts really were none of my business anyway, even if they were about me, his thought were none of my business. If he wanted to think of me as having a more exotic private life, more power to him...enjoy your fantasy buddy! If he only knew that most weeks I hardly even get a chance to put on lipstick, and even less pluck my eyebrows. Exotic is not part of my life....my priorities these days are so far from trying to be a deva...(LOL)

When I got home I shared with my husband this guy's assumptions based on my tiny leather bracelet that my son gave me a year ago. I had even forgotten this bracelet was even on my wrist and we both had a good laugh. It also made me realize that I too have lots of unproven assumptions swimming around my head; mostly about people I hardly know. In light of my experience, I made conscious effort to purge them out of my mind.

Life is quite funny if you have the right outlook.

Have a great day!

What Do Teacher's Make?

A co-worker sent this to my e-mail ad I just had to post it....pass it on!

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life.

One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"

He reminded the other dinner guests what they say about teachers: "Those who can, do.. Those who can't, teach."

To stress his point he said to another guest; "You're a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?"

Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, "You want to know what I make? (She paused for a second, then began...)

"Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.

I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor winner.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't make them sit for 5 without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental.

You want to know what I make?" (She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table.)

I make kids wonder.

I make them question.

I make them apologize and mean it.

I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions.

I teach them to write and then I make them write. Keyboarding isn't everything.

I make them read, read, read.

I make them show all their work in math. They use their God given brain, not the man-made calculator.

I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know about English while preserving their unique cultural identity.

I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe.

I make my students stand, placing their hand over their heart to say the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag, One Nation Under God, because we live in the United States of America.

Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life.”

(Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.)

"Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn't everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant.... You want to know what I make?

I MAKE A DIFFERENCE. What do you make Mr. CEO?"

His jaw dropped, he went silent.

Been Painting Watercolors

Been painting 5x7's in watercolor.......so relaxing......In teaching art I often get the itch to do it too.....I recommend it to anyone!!! who does not like watercolor-ing?

3x4 feet collage

Nora and I worked together yesterday to change around an old collage I had sitting around. She tore these black pieces of paper from a magazine and we both added in the pieces where we felt they looked best. This collage is on sale at my Esty store at an unbelievable value!

Animals and their Role in our Lives

I grew up without many animals. We had maybe one dog for a few years but that is about it. After college I was in a relationship with an avid animal lover and I began to see and feel the benefits of being a pet owner.

In our family now we just adopted 2 kittens and our kids could not be happier when they see them, hold them, play with them. It has been somewhat an uphill battle teaching the kids to be respectful of the cats as living beings, yet slowly, they are learning to be more compassionate and getting to see that the benefits come when they put out gentleness.

Following the Parent's Tao Te Ching for the Next Few Months

I love re-finding books in my home library. Lately, I've been needing some grounding in my thinking when it comes to what is really important in parenting. Luke has started school and all of the sudden I find myself uptight and unable to just ALLOW.

Here are some lines from the 1st Tao that I will try my hardest to follow in the next few days.

1. "Don't mistake your desire to talk for their readiness to listen."

I am a BIG lecturer. I have memories of me rambling on and on and seeing my son just hating every minute of it. Then I have memories of my mom lecturing me and acting very much the same way; could not wait to have it just end. So I will ease up on my lecture seeing as they are very ineffective.

2. "Far more important are the wordless truths they learn from you."

So now I feel I must decide what WORDLESS truths I want to my kids to learn from my actions alone.

- I want them to learn that material things are so unimportant and that at times they can even make you sad. I express this WORDLESSLY by the fact that I never care what brands I wear. Our entire family values a bargains over price.

-I want them to learn that I value them as very important and respect their wants and needs and paths in life apart and independent from how they might be rated in school. I express this WORDLESSLY by always following their learning paths

Here is another book that has changed my life.

Collage Chair

Nora and I spent the evening decoupaging this chair. We had a blast!

Congruence

The older I get the more I rely on my intuition when dealing with all kinds of situations and people.

A few years back the minute I met someone difficult or rude I'd immediately absorb their negative energy and take their rudeness personally; as if somehow it was my fault I was being mistreated. My intuition was fairly weak and of little help in giving me insight on someone's odd behavior. I'd simply react and allow it to wreck my mood, my day, my hour....somehow it was always me and never them.

Today I feel much more confident in my abilities to see things as they really are. When encountered with a difficult personality it never even occurs to me that it has anything to do with me. What's different? Today, my foundations are my family, my few close friends and the fact that I know and accept myself with all my faults. This foundation has allotted me a fearless strength not found in the "me" of years past. I could safely say I live a fearless life.

I may be dramatic, yet I never say something I do not feel truly in my heart. I may be obsessive but my intentions are always pure and for good. I may be bossy and demanding, but I never disregard anyone to meet my own needs first. I may have very little time for making new friends, yet, when talking to anyone I always remind myself that every person has a slice of sacred in them. You will never see me talking to any adult, child, animal or insect with disrespect. Words matter. I know. Last, I may talk too much, but I am the same person to all people and my intentions are always positive and healthy towards all humanity.

A difficult personality in my book is just someone who is not themselves, or walking a fine line trying to be someone other than themselves. When you meet them and your intuition is fully awake, you feel their energy closed and tight, sporadic, restrained and unable to come across in a fluid, congruent manner. They are the over-praisers who fear your disapproval if they stop complimenting excessively. They are the ones you know right off you will never penetrate; for their story about you in their heads is way too heavy to untangle. Last, they are the overly serious people who follow some stiff fundamental ideas and turned away from their use of basic common sense. I meet them, feel their suffering and move on.

It's so liberating not to crave approval, or to fear disapproval.

It's so liberating to have a clean and open heart ready to accept all these difficult personalities and simply live around them unaffected by their actions.

Life is absolutely perfect as it is.